The Spiritual Path - Clarity without Certainty
The Spiritual Path
“Our path in OA transcends weight loss and a return to emotional healthy.” – Seeking the Spiritual Path
I have been in program for thirty-five years and I’m blessed with long-term recovery. I feel moved to write about my journey toward developing a relationship with a Higher Power.
I’d grown up with a concept of a punishing, judgmental God I didn’t understand. We didn’t talk about God, but I knew in my heart that God existed; God had to be punishing me with this unhappy, dysfunctional childhood.
Fast-forward many years to the day I walked into OA after trying every weight-loss scheme out there. OA members talked about a Higher Power and about a relationship I felt desperate to have. I’d never experienced a Higher Power leading me as others described. What was I doing wrong? I prayed, meditated, and wrote; I worked the Steps and used them as guides for living. These practices restored me to sanity. Yet I did not experience that presence I heard others talk about. I didn’t understand, but I decided to give up all doubts and questions and live as if I believed in that Higher Power.
I still can’t bring myself to limit or define a Higher Power – I think I’m afraid a punishing God would be mad at me for getting it wrong! But I did have a recent epiphany: I don’t ever have to have a clear concept of God.
What I do have is a clear concept of how my God would want me to live. I am to make choices that are honest, kind, and true to myself. This actually doesn’t leave a lot of wiggle room. The clarity, however, gives me a great deal of comfort.
I don’t know where this epiphany will take me or even where I need to go. I already have more blessings than anyone deserves. I am in my 60s and still
enthralled with life and all the miracles that abound. For all this, I thank OA and my Higher Power – whom I don’t understand and don’t need to
-- Terri B., Bel Air, Maryland USA
Lifeline - A Meeting on the Go, Nov/Dec, 2017
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