Give and Take
Before burning my journal, I reread some of the entries: This problem went away. That fear didn’t materialize. That was a problem? How trivial some entries seemed! But when I wrote them, they were the most important, bothersome, and fearful things in my life.
I did notice one problem kept recurring, and when this problem surfaced, my compulsion to overeat returned. Some days I gave in and ate, but I also kept going back to the Steps.
Today I’m grateful that during my on-again, off-again abstinence I kept attending meetings, doing service, and praying to HP for help. Without the love and friendship of OA, I wouldn’t have tried to get well.
Little did I realize how my life was to change the day HP answered my prayer. A newcomer asked me to sponsor her. I thought I worked a good program, but now I wanted to closely examine working the Steps and Tools so I could show her how to do the same. And, now I had to face this recurring problem of mine.
I’m grateful HP put this person in my life. She listened when I said, “One day at a time, “Trust in your HP,” “Act as if,” “Feel the feelings,” and “Let go.”
She suggested I do the same for my problem. I did, and for today the problem has been removed. I no longer have to fight the compulsion to overeat.
The happiness, freedom, peace, and joy that come from the Steps overshadow the pain, anger, and powerlessness that sometimes creep into my life. Through OA, I’ve learned my HP wants only good for me. I’m glad I found that out.
— Lifeline, December 1990